Is there a Boundary for Women?

Women are not the same as they were earlier. In earlier generation women were not independent or powerful as women are today. This was when I want to enroll myself for a mechanical drawing course. But for this I want to get permission form the school board they asked me reason why I need this course which is meant for boys. But now things have changed but we can’t tell that there has been a vast change.

Women have majority of work to do like child care, housework, decorating, shopping, and cooking. But men do not do these things and this doesn’t come in their daily routine. Even if the women is working she has to manage to do all these works and it is considered to be her own work.

Women are complicated creature they need everything but they don’t tell what they really want. We say equal right for men and women. This does not mean that equal pay for equal work; divide housework and cooking, shared child care. The fact is most women want things to be done by them. Women just want man to read their minds. Understand their situations. For example if a man is sending a flower she wants him to know what type of flowers to be sent and when. She wants him to understand her moods without telling him what it is. Statement like anything you can do, I can do just as good doesn’t mean that she can fix a car, take out the trash, pound nails etc.

How many of you give up yourself for your relationship does matter. Do you wait for a special phone call from your love by passing up engagements with your friends? Do you agree things you don’t want just because you can’t say no?

I had a client named C, she was in a worry because her sister is coming for a visit and she is going to stay with her for two weeks. She is worried because she will not be able to afford it. The reason being his sister wants to go to expensive pleases and she doesn’t bring any money with her because she is unemployed. C is in a fear that she will end up with debt for months after she leaves. This is due to the self-centered behavior of her sister because she is crossing her limits and really intensify problem. We worked out some strategies for C they are,

1. Tell her sister that she is extremely happy on her visit.

2. Set some boundaries for the visit.

3. Make your sister to pay for her own expenses on her visit.

4. You can let your car to her on two conditions; you need the car to go to the office and return, your sister should pay for her own gas. If she is not happy then she can rent her own car.

5. Parties are allowed only during week end, because she need 8 hours sleep because she works at night.
C was not happy with this parameter because she felt that this would stop her sister visiting her.

It is difficult to tell what your personal limits are and afraid that you will hurt their feelings. If you don’t have your boundaries then it is sure that they are going to take advantage on you. Remember you are responsible for what happens in your life.

So,
Learn to set boundaries.
Learn to clarify what you want.
Learn to ask for what you want.

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